The Interview
by angelic-o-wings
Summary: What does everyone think of Senel? I had the decency to do a fake interview of the other main characters of TOL and ask them questions about him. Some are good. Some are bad. And some are a little f’ed up! R&R please!


**Disclaimer: **I don't freakin' own tales. Quit buggin me! We all do don't we!?

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

**Characters: **Me, Kenny (just a random person who works on the set) Shirley, Chloe, Will, Moses, Grune, Norma, and Jay. Senels only in here a couple of times cuz of the summery! - read! read! read!

**Summery: **What does everyone think of senel? I had the decency to do a fake interview of them and ask questions about him. Some are good. Some are bad. And some are a little f'ed up!

Have fun!!!!!

**Tales of Legendia Interview**

**Topic: Senel**

**First Interview: Senel**

Me: All right! Here we are on my fake talk show! WHOOO!!!! First off, lets bring out my loved one,

Senel Coolidge!!!!

(Senel walks in frount off the camera and waves. Then he sits in the chair next to me. )

Me: Okay Senel! Do you have any idea why you are here on today?

Senel: Cuz you totally dig me?

Me: . . . Yes. But we're not talking about that now. Lets start smaller. What was your favorite part of playing on Tales of Legendia?

Senel: Well, the peanuts were good! I really liked the peanuts!

Me: They gave you peanuts on the set? Okay then! How about the people you worked with, how were they?

Senel: One time, Shirley tripped over a rake and everyone laughed! And another time, Moses shoved three peanuts up my nose!! Then I got lost on the set and Will had to take me back to the stage!!!

Me: Wow. Whats with you and peanuts?

Senel: . . . I can't remember.--

Me: Oh well, you did good for your first interview, Senel. Now go to the waiting room and wait for us to call you in again. O-key!?

(Senel jumps up and runs out the wrong door.)

Me: . . . . SOMEONE GO GET HIM! DON'T LET MY DARLING GET RAN OVER!!!!!!! KENNY! GO GET HIM OFF THE STREET!!!

Kenny: Someone go get me a rope!

Me: Don't hurt his sexy, sexy neck!!!

**Second Interview: Jay**

Me: Alrighty! (I hold back the crowd off screaming fan girls and some boys) Now comes the gothic boywonder, Jay!!

(Jay walks in frowning and sits down in the same seat Senel sat in.)

Me: So Jay! What is it you think of Senel? (Jay sits and stares at the floor) Jay!!!! Pay freakin' attention to me!!!

Jay: Oh! Sorry! I was just thinking.

Me: Yes. We all know your all gay with Moses and way too serious for your own good. What I want to know is what you think of my baby Senel.

Jay: He's a good friend and all, but sometimes I worry about his health. I mean, exactly how stupid is he!? I walked in on him one time in his room and he was throwing darts at a picture of Shirley screaming "I will rule the world and you will die first!"

Me: Oh, that's not very surprising. Everyone hates Shirley. And of course Senel will rule the world one day. By the by, do you know what type of cologne Senel wears?

Jay: Uh, no.

Me: Then get the hell outta here, gay-wad! Jesus!!!

(Jay glares at me, then gets up and leaves.)

Me: Kenny, have you found my future husband yet?

Kenny: Yeah, he's tied up down in the lobby with the others.

Me: Good. I'm gonna go have some fun!

**Third Interview: Chloe**

Me: Chloe! Get your knight wannabe tail out here and tell me about Senel!!!!!!!

(Chloe runs in the room and falls on the floor.)

Me: Well this wont take long. Why don't you just stay down there. So, so far I'm getting complaints of Senel being an idiot. Any thoughts?

Chloe: Ummmm. . . Well, Coolidge is very nice, and has such a big heart. But I just think he needs to see a physiatrist or something. He'd try to eat his own hand if we weren't with him half the time. Did his mom drop him on his head when he was little or something? Its just weird.

Me: So your also saying he's stupid?

Chloe: Yep.

Me: Any evidence to back up that theory?

Chloe: Well I did see him jump off of a six story building yelling pancakes. Also, he thinks condoms are pointless.

Me: But they do make it a lot less fun. I see his point.

Chloe: Yeah. Am I done?

Me: Yes. Get out.

(Chloe gets up off the floor and leaves the room.)

Me: Sigh I can see why he doesn't want anything to do with her. Oh, well she had her chance.

**Fourth Interview: Grune**

Me: The retard, huh? Okay. Bring er' in!

(Grune skips into the room and sits down in the seat smiling like a moron.)

Grune: Hello everyone!

Me: Okay, then. So, Grune, you don't die for a while into the game. From what you've seen, what do you think about Se-

Grune: Oh! My! Look at my dress! Its so pretty! And my nails can go shiny-shiny too! **-**

Me: Now Grune, stay on subject. What I want to know is what you like and/or dislike about Senel.

Grune: I'm sure Senel doesn't have cancer. That's just you're imagination, silly!

Me: Everyone freakin' knows Senel doesn't have cancer!!! Maybe AIDS, but not cancer! That's just wrong!!! : (

Grune: Oh, so that's where he got that.

Me????

Grune: Well this was fun, I'm going to go get a new hat!

(Grune gets up and skips out of the room)

Me: . . . BUT YOU DON'T WEAR HATS!!!

**Fifth Interview: Will**

Me: Oh, goody! My second favorite character!!! WHOOO!!! Bring him in! Bring him in! Bring him in!

(Will walks in and sits in the chair.)

Me: Okey-dokey! First question, how do you lift that seven hundred pound hammer?

Will: I thought this was about Senel.

Me: Whose "Senel"?

Will: . . .

Me: Oh yeah!!! Alright then. What do you think about my Senel?

Will: He's stupid.

Me: Why does everyone think he's dumb? I've played the game through over six times, and the stupidest thing he's ever done in there was gone after Shirley. He could have lived on a boat for Gods sake! Boats are cool.

Will: I can prove it.

Me: How?

Will: About two weeks ago he was reading a book aloud upside down. The sad part is that the book was a notebook. Yesterday he kept screaming he was Tony Hawk and tried to do a trick on some kid off the streets skateboard. Do you have any idea how much money we've spent on medical bills?

Me: Maybe he's on crack.

Will: That's what I think.

Me: Well, I gotta admit, Senel would probably have died a long time ago if you weren't apart of the game. He probably copies a lot of stuff he sees on TV. Someone needs to tell him Spiderman uses cords on the set to make him fly. And "Jackass" is a comedy show! Not a news station! Your not support to copy the stuff Bam Margera, Steve-O, and Johnny Knoxville do! 

Will: He doesn't usually act like that on the set. Just off.

Me: But that's what makes him so hot. His creative idiocy: ) Oh, well. Just one last question.

Will: Yes?

Me: Any idea what his favorite bands are?

Will: He mentions Green Day and MCR a bit.

Me: Yay! Those are my favs, too! Okay, go and make sure he's not killin' Shirley. I'm not saying stop him, just, you know, make sure! **-**

Will: Yeah, yeah.

(Will gets up and leaves the room.)

Me: Wonder' when he tries to eat the extension cord again.

Will: SENEL, GET THAT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!!!!!

Me: Well, there it is. --

**Sixth Interview: Moses**

Me: Fine, the guy from the ghetto! Show him in!

(Kenny and Moses walk in. Kenny is holding Moses by the arm and throws him in the chair.)

Kenny: For the last damn time, DON'T HUNT THE FISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Kenny walks out of the room mad.)

Me: Okay, Moses. I don't really like you. So lets try to get this over with quick.

Moses: Tch…fine. Whatever.

Me: Well, first off, what do you like about Senel?

(Moses stares off out the window, ignoring me. So I throw a book at him. -)

Moses: What!? What the hell!?

Me: Pay attention! God, all you queers are the same! Ok, what do you think about Senel!?

Moses: . . . Senel? I thought we were talkin' about me.

Me: No, Moses. We're **_talkin'_** about Senel.

Moses: Oh, okay then. He would never survive a day in prison.

Me: Why do you think that?

Moses: You ever seen how scrawny he is? I swear, we was weighin' him one day and he only weighed ninety pounds! We pulled all those weights off of him. We asked him why he was so skinny, but all he said was, "Please, God, don't take me to the hospital! I don't want a shot!!!" Those things weighed him down thirty pounds!!!!

Me: So what's this got to do with prison?

Moses: I'm sayin' he would drop the soap. Those men would eat him alive.

Me: Wow. At least you're not saying he's dumb.

Moses: Oh, he's that, too.

Me: . . . -- Anything else?

Moses: Yeah, he's scarred of butterflies.

Me: Butterflies!?

Moses: Yep. Every time he sees one, he screams like a girl and cries. So what do I do? I pour of bucket of dead ins all over him while he slept.

Me: What!? OMFG!!! What did he do!?

Moses: He stayed in his room all day long cryin' until we dragged him to a doctor.

Me: . . . Okay, were out of time. See-ya, Moses.

(Moses gets out of the seat and leaves the room laughing.)

Me: I'm staying away from that guy.

**Seventh Interview: **

Me: All right. Time to bring in someone to brighten up the last interview. Here's Norma!!!

(Norma runs in happily and sits in the chair sideways.)

Me: Hi, Norma!

Norma: Hello!!! **J**

Me: O-key, Norma. You know why you're here don't you?

Norma: Yep! To talk about Senny!

Me: Hee! Hee! Hee! I just love that nickname! Alright, what do you have to say?

Norma: Senny. Senny. Senny. I love the guy to death, but what's the deal with his hair?

Me: Excuse me?

Norma: Bear with me. We have browns, blond, red, ravens, and then there's. . . white. And on top of that, its all fuzzy. What? Does he use those three gald a bottle hair gels!? It doesn't make sense.

Me: He's always had that hair. If you ask me, its pretty original. And cute!

Norma: You find him cute!? Shirl's gonna get you!

Me: I don't give a rats ass what Shirley want's or need's!!! The game would have been five million times better if she just up and died right now!!!!!!! 

(Shirley starts coughing in the weighting room.)

Me: Oh my God! Did I finally get my wish!?

(Norma runs and peeks out the doorway.)

Norma: Nope, she just got a whip of Senny's dirty socks.

Me & Norma:

Norma: Well, I'm gonna go back now. Okay?

Me: Okay! See ya latter! -

(Norma runs out of the room and trips when she smells Senel's socks.)

Norma: OH! FOR THE LOVE OF FREAKIN' GOD!!! SENNY, PUT YOUR SHOES BACK ON!!!!! XD

KLUNK

Me: . . . Uh, Norma! Norma!!!!

**Last Interview: Shirley**

Me: All right. This is the time none of us have been looking forward too. But some people will eat me alive if I don't do this. So here's. . . sigh Shirley.

(Shirley skips in the room laughing, sits in the chair and crosses her legs.)

Shirley: Hi! I'm so glad to be here how are you?

Me: I've been better. :-(

Shirley: So, should I start?

Me: God! I wanna strangle you!!!!. . .uh. . um. . I mean, sure go ahead.

Shirley: Okay! I really like Senel! We've been together for over three years. To tell you the truth, I think he really likes me too. Maybe some day we'll get married and live together in a nice house. Wouldn't that be just great!? Huh!? WOULDN'T IT!!!!!!!??????

Me: Shirley, there's always been something I wanted to say to you. And now, since you brought that up, I think im ready to do it.

Shirley: Y-yes?

(I pick up a knife from out of nowhere and start stabbing Shirley in the face.)

Me: YOU WILL NEVER HAVE MY SENEL!!!!! NEVER!!!! NEVER!!!! NEVER!!!! NEVER!!!!!!

Shirley: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Off the set:**

(Senel and I walk out of the building. I'm dragging a garbage bag with Shirley's body inside.)

Me: Well, that's the end of the show!!! I hope you enjoyed it! Um. . .pay no attention to what happened to You-Know-Who. We all know she's better off dead. -

(I throw the bag in the dumpster and then put my arm around Senel.)

Me: Come on, Senel! Lets go get some egg rolls!

Senel: Right on!!!

Me & Senel: YAY! EGG ROLLS!!!!

**Well, that was my first fanfic! Hope u liked it. Sorry it took so long. There was a bug on the floor the entire time I typed this. So I was kinda distracted the entire time I wrote this.**

**So perty-please review! Please!!! For me and Senel!**

**Also, no one really noticed that Senel or Shirley went missing. So it kinda worked out for everyone. Especially me!!!**

**J**


End file.
